Black Hole Syndrome
I was having a nap today. When I woke up, I had a spot on my body. Barely anything. Just a tiny black spot on the palm of my hand. Then it suddenly grew! It was as thick as a pencil. I looked quizzically at it. All of a sudden it became twice its size! I looked around, trying to find something that could get it off! Nothing. And the spot kept growing bigger by the second!
“Stop!” I cried, “Please!”
But the spot grew and grew. And now, my body is just a big, black spot …
I really enjoyed your story. Just at the start it was a little choppy because all the sentences were all the same length. Good story though.
ReplyDeleteI think you should take out the first sentance in your story because it's not a very strong beggining but I think you could make it stronger. Your story is very creative and I enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Rihanna, you should make your first line stronger and maybe you could make some of your sentences longer. I like how descriptive your story is though. I think it's really creative.
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