"One day the door bell rang. Excitedly, I ran to the door thinking it was my friend, Brynn, but it wasn't her. All there was was a box. I picked up the box and took it inside to open. When I got to my room I put my hand in the box and felt nothing. Absolutely nothing was in the box. I felt around to make sure, thats when I found the map and why I'm here." I told the man in black.
"Interesting," he said as if he was questioning if he would believe me. Of coarse he did, everyone does...
Instead of saying 'All there was was a box' you should change it something that doesn't include the same word twice. The ending is a little bit confusing so you should say where the map lead to. Creative story though! <3
ReplyDelete