Jacob Sartorius Killed Me!!!!!
Watching Netflix in my orange pyjamas and sweatshirt as thoughts swam through my head. I went to check my Instagram, but right when I opened it my power went out and there was a long silence then lots of thunder. All of a sudden Jacob Satorius appeared and started singing and I said "Cancer!!! I have cancer!!!" He just kept singing a Drake knockoff "Chillin' with your hair tied, No makeup with some sweatpants on." Right then I dug a huge hole and died.
Okay... don't forget your commas and other punctuation like you do so often. Remember to start a new line whenever someone starts speaking. I think your story needs work.
ReplyDelete...🤔... Your story is very creative..... Remember your punctuation!
ReplyDeleteInteresting story! Your story is a bit all over the place. Also, you don't need to multiple exclamation marks, only one. Also, the cancer part is a bit confusing.
ReplyDeleteYour story is really creative. I agree with SoccerLover that you only need one exclamation mark. I also think the cancer part is confusing. Nice story though.
ReplyDelete